When freakishly cold weather prevents you from taking your dog for a walk and you decide to let him race around the hallways of your apartment building because you can't take another day trapped inside watching him gnaw the cabinet knobs, I suggest that before you step into the hall, you take the time to brush your teeth. And wear socks. And a bra.
Because when you lock yourself out carrying nothing but a Nylabone and a leash, it will make a better impression on your elderly neighbor if your request to use her phone doesn't waft out of your mouth accompanied by that early morning Diet Coke & dead catfish funk. Nor will she be impressed by your Tic-Tac nipples poking through the fabric of your "Sir Pokes-A-Lot Fencing Club" t-shirt*.
*Yes, this is an actual item of clothing that I own. And that I paid full price for.
9 comments:
I need more cowbell . . . I mean Pigpen.
this is fucking hilarious. i just read every post here and am laughing out load with tears coming out. my post-pilates abs are not thrilled about this.
i talk to my dogs, but have never thought to blog to them. fucking hilarious.
Your pup is freakin' adorable... maybe not as cute as mine, but still. Damn cute.
I can just see the old lady with her "MY WORD!" face on.
As someone who watches other people's dogs ALL the time (specifically three labs that sometimes make me want to end my life) and grew up with a menagerie of pets... I know exactly what you're saying with this blog.
LOL - thanks for the chuckle!
Wow. This is fantastic, brilliant, and hilarious. My sister and her fiance owned a boxer- he was my favorite puppy EVER. But then I moved to Korea and he moved out of a small, cramped apartment to a farm with like acres. And we're both happy.
Bwahahahaha. . . hilarious.
I love your blog. Just found it today. I too have a boxer. 10 now. Ex Hubby kept the other one who is now 6, but I get baby sitting duty. These are the best dogs paws down.
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