You were unsupervised for approximately 8 minutes this morning--a non-consecutive 8 minutes, might I add--while I brushed my teeth, took the most ineffective shower short of just Swiffering myself (not a euphemism...), and started a load of my OWN laundry (which has not been done in two weeks, explaining why I've worn this same "Ghost in the Machine" t-shirt long enough to completely obscure Stewart Copeland's face beneath a layer of Iams Puppy Food Flav-A-Gravy and my own endless tears).
So, my precious Destructo-Beast...how did you find time to shit behind the entertainment center (on the surge protector, for max sanitation difficulty), shred US Weekly into a pile of Kitson-colored ribbons, and break a piece of Jonathan Adler pottery--the ONE decorative item I own that was not purchased on a clearance endcap at Target?
Clearly in order for us to work, I need either a Boxer-sized Baby Bjorn or a studio audience to console me with their synchronized "awwwwww" sounds as I'm wondering how far I can push a paper towel into the electrical outlet without having to use the "burn victim" tag in future posts.
2 comments:
I love your blog. What piece of Jonathan Adler pottery did he break?
Thank you! And today's casualty was the Whale Pitcher, now renamed as the Amorphous White Blob That Was Hastily Reassembled With A Glue Stik and The White Nail Polish From a Previously Unopened French Manicure Set.
Try finding that in Dwell.
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