Even if the veterinarian is an adorable Andrew McCarthy-style prep star who laughs politely at your rabies jokes* and stands so close to you that you detect a hint of Country Apple shower gel** it is impossible to continue flirting with him when you abruptly realize that you have a still-warm baggie of poop*** in the pocket of your coat.
*Never underestimate the power of a well-timed 'foam at the mouth' remark. Yes, I'm still single...why do you ask?
**It could have been actual apple juice. There was a small yellow stain above his Vineyard Vines belt but--for the sake of later vet-induced fantasy--I did not consider the possibility that it was anything that couldn't be sold in a juice box.
***Butt nuggets courtesy of Pigpen, as if knowing the source made it any less distracting.
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